Thursday, September 13, 2012

Reversal Role

Disclaimer: This is going to be a rant, so if you're not in the mood to read a rant, come back later ;)

Today, I witnessed someone asking someone else to a dance.  Normally, this wouldn't elicit a rant.  Normally, my reaction would be something like "Aawwww....."  But it's not just any dance...'s the Sadie Hawkins dance.

You don't know how frustrated I am with the Sadie Hawkins dance.  No, I don't mean that.  I'm frustrated with the world.

What has happened to our world to turn it upside down enough that now "girls ask the guys"?!  What happened to ideals where men (not boys!) asked young ladies or women (not girls!) to dances?  Or heck, where young men and women could attend a dance and have fun with a group of people?  I'm fed up with this culture, where we women are "forced" to take the initiative, because the media has informed the men that "if the girl wants a relationship bad enough, she'll pursue you".  (I put "forced" in quotes because, in reality, we're not forced to do anything.  We make the choices.  But we've been programmed in a certain way because of our environment.)  No, no, NO!  Guys, take the initiative!  Please!  For the love of true love! just step up and ask!

I don't want to pursue a guy.  I want to BE pursued, the good old-fashioned way.  I will never- and I mean NEVER- ask a guy on a "date" (a real date, not just "hey let's go have coffee").  I give my family and friends full permission to smack me upside the head if they ever hear of me doing such a thing.

Now, if you are a girl who has asked a guy to a dance, or on a date, please know that I'm not bashing you.  If that's what you decided to do, ok.  But personally, it bothers me.

Here, I need to stop and admit that I have asked a guy to the Sadie Hawkins dance before.  But you should know 3 things about that situation: I was 5, the guy was my brother (who was 20), and I didn't actually go to the dance.  (Hey David, did YOU go to that dance?)  Anywho.

We need to get back to the kind of values we had 40 years ago.  What happened to the days of sitting on the front porch or the park bench, sipping lemonade and talking?  Why do we feel the need to be in a relationship all the time?  So many people nowadays think that having a significant other completes them, makes them the person they're supposed to be.  In reality, though, they should be a complete person before they find a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

I'm not going to the Sadie Hawkins dance.  But I will go to other dances with friends and have fun with those friends.  I'll go to swing dancing on Sunday nights and enjoy that.  It's not that I'm not against dances, nor am I against dating.  I am content without a boyfriend.  and here my family breaths a sigh of relief...  I haven't figured out who I am yet, much less how to be in a relationship.  I don't want to have the pressure of a relationship at this stage in my life.  I can't speak for next month or next year, but for now, I'm happy in this state in life.  It's 100% true: I'm happy in this state in life.  Because that's where God's placed me for right now, and I have decided to trust Him.

Sometimes, trust is just what you've gotta do.


Evelyn just said to me "Stop worrying about what you wrote.  It's good, and you're not going to lost friends over it."  Hopefully that's true ;)


  1. Love it! My wife asked me out on our first date however. But I was the one that first contacted her on (or whatever it was) We talked for months over e-mail and phone and she said she got frustrated and asked me out. Not too toot my own horn but shy guys are a good catch! ***smile***

  2. AMEN SISTER!!!!!! I totally, completely agree. You are welcome to have this conversation with all of my children as they grown up and start thinking these things out! Love ya! :)

  3. Hey, Fellas, She's worth pursuing. Get off your ass and be a man. Oh, and by the way, be a man and call me or my dad first, would you!?!?

  4. Brian: Ah yes, shy guys are awesome too! Definitely not putting ya'll down ;) But sometimes, even the shy ones should take a wee bit o' initiative!

    Stine: Thanks. LOVE YOU TOO! and sure I will. you've got my number!

    David.... DO YOU REALIZE that you just made my WEEK? I love you!

  5. I completely agree! A Sadie Hawkins dance is awkward, and more guys need to be able to speak up and ask a girl to a dance or on a date.

  6. I cannot express in just a few lines how much I love your post. It's nice to know someone else who agrees with me on this subject, since most people nowadays do not.

    P.S. David's comment made me laugh out loud. :)