To Which Hills It May Concern:
I am going to be blunt: I don't like you. Hills, you are cruel. You exist where you do not need to exist. You cause people's calves and thighs to ache. Badly. For goodness sake, our gorgeous campus is situated on two hills and the area between those two hills. You make the phrase "uphill both ways" true! This phrase should always be false! It's not right to have to walk uphill both ways.
Hills, you must be made aware of something: walking up and down you in the rain is no fun. Let me tell you what happened to me yesterday. As class was ending, we all heard rain. No, it was more like a light sprinkle. Perfect, I thought. I'll have time to run back down the stairs and up the stairs and then up the hill before the rain really starts. Ha. Not so. I walked out the door to find steady rain coming down. I zipped up my backpack and started off at a fast pace down the hill. It started raining harder. It's impossible to run down a hill in the rain whilst wearing flip flops. I ducked into the JC, water literally streaming down my face, dripping off the hem of my skirt, flip flops squishing as I walked through the door. I perched on a chair and waited for the rain to let up..... which it did 10 minutes later. At which point I squished up the next set of stairs and up the hill, slowly, because you can't go quickly up a hill in the rain!! *deep sigh*
I finally dried out, but the truth is, hills, that you made me be outside far longer than needed. I could have been to my dorm in 4 minutes if it hadn't been for you. In conclusion, I would greatly appreciate it if you would straighten up and flatten out before the snow comes, because I have a funny feeling that walking up and down and all around in the snow is going to be far worse than in the rain.
PS- While we're on the subject, could you speak to the weather for me? 3 days ago, it was 65, and today it's 93. I'm sure we'd all appreciate a little consistency. Thanks.