Sunday, June 17, 2012

Different Kind of Sacrifice

I think everyone enters the Crossroads experience expecting something.  They may not know precisely what it is, but they're definitely expecting it.  It could be new friends, a life changing experience, to get in shape, to grow closer to God, to see cool scenery, to explore the country, and so much more.

One of my expectations was not to get sick.

The other day (Thursday, I believe it was) I woke up and walked 3 minutes down the road to Mass.  As I sat down, I felt a strange wave of lightheadedness.  Mass went on, and I got progressively worse and worse.  By the end, I was bent over, leaning on the pew in front of me, dizzy, with a pounding headache.  Afterwards, as I sat on the church steps with my head between my knees, all I could think was "This was not part of the plan".  I hated to do it, but I took the day off and slept for 6 hours.  Grace ended up walking for me, which meant she did back-to-back shifts.  (thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!)

I was eternally grateful for those 6 hours of sleep.  So grateful that I did night shift that night.  An extra long night shift which lasted 14 hours and in which we walked 40 miles.  A night shift that lasted so long that I walked in the sun again.  Which was super stupid and dumb on my part, because I had heat exhaustion.

Heat exhaustion.  Why, oh why, oh why???

Did you know that the symptoms for heat exhaustion are pretty similar to those of heat stroke?  And that heat stroke can be fatal?  Yeah, me neither.  Needless to say, I was pretty freaked out for a little while.

If there's anything I hate, it's being sick.  Not because I feel yucky, but because I feel so useless.  Like I should be up and doing things, helping people make dinner and clean, but instead I have to sit on the sofa and do nothing.  And then I'll feel better and do something, and immediately after another wave of faintness will come over me and I'll have to sit down right away.  People, I promise I'm not faking!

Last night, I sat in the hot tub for a little bit, making me feel 1000% better, and then my mom was like "That probably wasn't the best idea for someone who has heat exhaustion".... oh yeah.  Whoops.  Kinda forgot about that.

(disclaimer: I'm drinking lots of sports drinks, taking natural remedies of various sorts, and am taking it easy.  No worries, I'm gonna be ok ;) )

This is all to say... I've been thinking about the reason I'm here.  My expectations.  I wanted to grow in my faith, to gain friendships, to witness to the dignity of life.  But as I've sat with a spinning head, I've wondered if my last couple days have even been worthwhile.  If I'm not walking, is there even a point to being here?

I've come to realize that there is.

Why am I here?  For prayer and sacrifice.  I'm getting a heck of a lot of prayer in sitting on this sofa.  It's a huge sacrifice for me to not walk.  I thought I was here to walk.  But there's so much more than that.  I am here to walk, but I can witness in other ways too.

Last night during dinner, Josh said something that I've always heard, but it really hit me.  He said "Make every bite a prayer!"  I may pray my morning offering when I wake up, but do I mean those words I say?  Do I mean that I offer "my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of the day"?  Or do I say it because that's what I've been doing for years?  Do I remember that literally everything I do while I'm here is for the greater glory of God, and that everything should be a prayer?  It's definitely something that I need to work on.

Break break.

We've been making videos like there's no tomorrow.  So much so that the Crossroads office assured everyone that yes, we are still walking. :P  (We are, in fact, 2 days ahead!)

So here, I present you with Peter's latest work.

And here is the video I referenced in my last post that Josh made: 30 Miles in Our Shoes

Enjoy your day (and your week!) everyone!  Pray for us all as we venture into the flatness that is South Dakota.


  1. Yes, I could have told you that the symptoms for heat exhaustion and heat stroke are very similar....but you didn't ask me. ;) Rest up and get better soon! <3 you!

  2. I think you have hit on something ... truly everything is a prayer, if we let it be. Right where we are, today, now, is the moment that we are supposed to sanctify and often the moment doesn't look exactly like how we would have planned it. For you, right now that means resting instead of walking. For me, today, that meant sitting in the parking lot during Mass w/ the 4 year old who refused to behave. It began a good conversation w/ the kids - I told them, that it may seems that the thing that would help me to be most holy would be attending Mass, but my vocation is to be a Mom, a parent and to guide my kiddos. So, sanctifying the moment, meant directing the crazy 4 year old. I'm not saying I sanctified the moment well :) , just saying that I have been pondering the same things you have been about how I use EACH moment, whether it's going my way or not ...

  3. Wonderful message and insight..and a time of growth perhaps for all of us. Take good care of yourself, Allison. Now, to watch your videos! :-)