Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Dropping like ... Stanley

This post requires a pre-explanation: Who is Stanley?
I will give you some hints.  Stanley likes flies.  He is green.  He lives in a pot.  Night Shift loves him.
Stanley is a Venus Fly Trap.
Don’t ask why we scoured Lowes’, Walmart’s, and Hy-Vee’s galore to find him.  All you need to know is that when we (Mario, Stephanie, Josh, and I) found him, we were quite elated:
But Stanley wasn’t happy living in an RV.  He quickly began drooping and no amount of sustenance, whether it be flies or cereal, would make him happy again.  So Stanley resided in our (non-working) sink, looking sad in a half-filled cup of water.  And just 10 minutes ago, Stephanie buried him in the trashcan.  He came quickly, and died almost as quickly.  And this, my friends, is the situation I'm in.  My health came back, and went away very quickly.
Monday night, I cried for the first time while on Crossroads.
I think anyone in my situation would have.
Let me back up a minute.  I was put on day shift again after 2 weeks on night.  Monday, it was super hot.  Like, 100.  I was prepared, though: I bought a hat, I had sunglasses, sunscreen, and plenty of water.  I started by first shift of the week walking with Grace.  She and I walked for a mile, then I had to get back in the van because my calves were killing me.  I had had 3 charlie horses the night before, so I thought that’s what it was.  After another 10 miles of others walking, Grace and I headed out again.  I had gone 2 before I started getting heat exhaustion symptoms.  At 3.5 I got back into the van, thinking that water and protein would make me feel all better and I could walk again later.  Well, faintness turned into spacey-ness turned into an escalating pounding headache, and I could feel my blood sugar crashing.  Nothing that I did helped.
Meanwhile, Amanda’s blood sugar was crashing too, so she couldn’t walk or drive, therefore John had to drive the whole way.  Peter is gone for the week, so Josh is doing most of the walking on night shift because Mario is injured.  Kirstin's ankle is hurting.  Michael, the guy who's with us for the week, also hurt his ankle.  It ended up that Grace did the majority of the walking (like, 21 out of 30 miles).  We got our 30 for the day, but just barely.
When I got back to the RV, I called Mom and after talking to her I realized that my body just can’t do day shift anymore.  I was crying, Mom was crying, Amanda and Grace were crying; we were overall just a huge mess.  I came in the RV where John and Josh were and (with tears streaming down my face) I told them “I just can’t do day shift anymore”.  Thankfully, they had foreseen this happening (as I had.  I had just been in denial…) and had put me on day shift just as a trial.  They were understanding (thanks, guys!) and promptly moved me to night.  I drank some water, told my family what was going on, and went to bed.
*sigh*  This isn’t how I was envisioning the rest of my Crossroads journey.  I figured I’d be the healthy one who could be put on any shift.  Not the girl who has to ask special consideration.  I hate having people worry, and I hate not being able to do what everyone else does.  I just really have to remember that God does know what he’s doing.  He knows that I will do just as much good on night shift as I would have on day shift.  That I can pray as much and do just as many sacrifices on night.  There is a reason.
So I am permanently on night shift.  And I’m ok with that.  As I said to my family, that just means that I’ll have more time to call people!!
I’m gonna make some changes to my blog right now, and the next couple times I have internet.  My plan is to take away my graphic design page (because I never use it), change my book shift page, and add a pictures page with highlight photos from my trip.  (And I'm pretty sure this is gonna break a cardinal rule of blogging by telling you this, but) I'm gong to do a couple blogs in advance to be posted automatically for you guys.  With pictures and captions and such.  Enjoy, in advance!
Please, please, please keep us in your prayers.  Even though our RV is air conditioned, it’s still sweltering in here, and I can’t even imagine what day shift is going through at the moment.  Pray for our health, our safety, and God’s will in every aspect of this walk.



  1. *sniffles* I feel it too, sister...not being able to do what everybody else does. But we can do this! God's grace is sufficient, and He knows what He is doing when He gives us these crosses to carry! :) Love you!

  2. Always health comes first and I have a sneaky suspicion that most walkers prefer day shift over night. So I doubt you are taking anything away from someone that they really wanted. In our prayers! We get to FINALLY meet in less than a month!

  3. The sacrifice for the unborn is the same, whether you walk day or night. Letting go of your idea of how your Crossroads journey *should* go, is just another thing to offer for all the intentions that you bring along with you. Thanks for being honest and sharing the journey with us! You knew this summer would be a time of growth; I bet some of this growth is as you expected, but some is quite different than what you thought. You will carry this summer with you for the rest of your life. I'm so proud of you!!